Thursday, September 23, 2010

Yumm Bee Yaay!

Statutory Warnings: 1. This is an original poem (for better or for verse, that is what I will call it) - and thus is not for the staunch believers in the Queen's language. 2. If you're an MBA and you take yourself seriously, do not read any further. 3. This is not (fully) autobiographical!


Kya?! You talking to me?
I'm an MBA from a top B-school
I know it all boss, can't you see?
Fin, Marketing, HR & Ops - it's all cool!

PowerPoint, Laptop and my Smartphone
With these toys, my skills are honed.
For hours on end I can gas... oops, speak;
Never mind, my audience thinks it’s all Greek!

Every day I must read all the pink papers,
BTW, in just 3 months I've managed to memorize Kotler!
Go on quiz me, about brand equity, derivatives, M&A’s and business capers,
Did I embarrass you? C'mon now don't sulk and be bitter...

I worship the holy trinity of M/s Buffet, Prahalad and Gekko,
WTF?! You haven't seen Wall Street? Damn right, it's worth a dekko!
I know big words and for that methinks people say I am bright,
Suits me fine, 'coz use of jargon is my birthright.

I know my strategy - my 'Brand Value', 'Vision' and 'Mission';
Though with multiple job offers in hand,
These days I am prone to the occasional indecision.
All these jobs sound so boring; maybe I'll just form a rock band. (Just kidding!)

What I care about isn't just profile and package,
I must work for top company, anything else is sacrilege!
Jet set around the world - crack deals, be jetlagged,
But make sure I’m on the evening news - my wisdom can't be gagged.

Screw that, I'll do a Sabeer Bhatia. Start my own business;
I’ll make my millions by riding the waves of Profit and Loss.
Attract the angel funds, sell out and party with finesse.
The best part - at the end of the day, I'll still be my own boss!

… Chal bohut hua, ab uth ja bhai.
Wake up lazy ass - Oi, Wake up Sid!
Stop living in the world of insane dreams and lie
With these tales of fantasy, whom do you think you kid?!


You were forewarned! If you want to read some more, click here...