Friday, November 20, 2009

Yeh Dilli Hain Meri Jaan

You know when one is from Delhi when:

1. ...they drink only on Monday , Wednesday , and Thursday to Sunday evenings. And try not drinking on Tuesday

2. ...treating a friend means - Daaru Shaaru te kabbab shabbab.

3. ...even in the most posh colonies, you hear, "Aloo lelo! Bhindi le lo! Pyaaz le lo! Tamatar le lo!"

4. ... And you hear women asking the vegetable vendor "Bhaiyaa dhaniya hari mirchi nahi diya!" [Even with Half a kilo Carrot - Dhania & Hari Mirch is expected free ] ;-)

5. ... a place to meet is moc-ha, (CCD), Barista, Hookah

6. ... they use the word "setting" or "jugad" at-least once a day.

7. … they have not visited any of the following – Qutub Minar, Red Fort, Lotus Temple. It is for tourists.

8. ... they on the cycle rickshaw - haggle over the price but still pity rickshaw wallas' condition and g i ve him what he asked.

9. ... they glare at people who call Gol-Guppas- Pani Puri!

10. ... they always ask the vendor "Bhaiya yeh Gol-Guppe Aate ki hai ya Sooji ke?"

11. ... schooling is best is Delhi not because of CBSE but because......You've had school cancelled thrice due to cold in winters & summer vacations pre-poned due to sudden increase heat in Summers and at least two Rainy Day off during Monsoon.

12. ... they have been to a wedding at a Mehrauli farmhouse at least once.

13. ... they understand all important words in Punjabi & punjabi "helping verbs" like teri maa di, teri bahen di... oye madar ... oye bahen.....Almost every Delhiite understands Punjabi to an extent. PUNJABI unites everyone.

14. ... they call the waiter in the restaurant "boss" or "Pappey" & tack on "yaar"/ "bhai" to almost every sentence.

15. ... they know that Pappay Da Dhaba or Kakkay Da Hotel has better butter chicken than Taj.

16. ... they describe practically every other person on the planet as "Vella". (that’s 'Idle' in English or ‘Nikamma’ in Punjabi)

17. ... they see Middle Aged Aunties wearing Gucci shades and holding LV bags having Gol-Gappas in GK or Bhelpuri in South Ex along with Diet Coke !

18. ... they call every stranger 'Bhaiya' (Warning: Don’t try this in Mumbai!)

19. ... they refer to East Delhi as "Jamuna Paar".

20. ... they refer to AIIMS as Medical.

21.... pretty girls as Totta, Maal or Bamb (Punjabi for Bomb)

22. ... aashiq mizaz boys as Majnu di Aulad!

23. ... they don’t buy tickets for a music concert or cricket match, but try to use political contacts of the deputy secretary of the chief secretary of the Minister of State for Khadi – in fact they use "contacts" (jugad) for everything, from getting movie tickets to restaurant bookings to playschool admissions.

24. ... they overtake everyone from the wrong side and stare into his/her eyes while doing so.

25. ... they have at least two cars and a motorcycle at home.

26. ... they have fought at least once every month with neighbors over parking!

27. ... they park their Car and take an Auto-rickshaw to Lajpat nagar / rajouri/ kamla nagar/ karol bagh. But CP , you don’t get parking space easily , yet you go always in your own vehicle.

28. ...and then say Apni Kanvense (conveyance) howe na ta badi Kanvinyance (convenience) hondi hai ji!

29. ... they have hit 120 kmph at Nelson Mandela Marg and waited for midnight to do it.

30. ...they have bribed a traffic policeman at-least once - every month.

31. ... they know that a farmhouse has nothing to do with cattle or farming. It is luxurious hangout for whole night.

32. ... they have had Anda parantha outside Vikram hotel and Bun Omelet at Dhaula Kuan, Kulfi at Karol Bagh , Gol Gappe at India Gate, Dosa at Madras Hotel and Chaat at Chandini Chowk !

34. ... Metro rail is your Pride but you travel in your Car.

35. ... they call people from north east chinkis. (And we Indians complain of racist attacks in Australia!)

36. ... you think EVERY South Indian comes from ' Madras' and is Madrasi. (Read Chetan Bhagat’s “2 States” to understand this better!)

37. ...You feel indicating which way you are going to turn your vehicle is an information security leak.

38. ... you are a good driver coz you are correct in your guess of what the driver in the front vehicle will do.

39. ... the only time you went to the Chidiya Ghar (Zoo) was on a school picnic.

40. ....they expect around 10 FM STATIONS in every city!

41. ....and keep singing ..... Dilli hai Dil Walon ki.....Oye Balle Balle!